Let Them Know That They Matter

Last week I sat down with my good friend and mentor Roy Clark to chat about ministry. As we talked, the subject matter of this week’s blog topics came up. As we chatted, I confided in my friend that I sometimes worried that my kids too often take a backseat to ministry. I shared that I feel like time is slipping away and I have not invested in them like I wanted to.

With understanding and kindness, my older and much wiser friend placed a hand on my shoulder and began to tell me a story.

“I remember one time,” he began, “I was in my first pastorate inCleveland, and I received a phone call from one of the men in the church.”

“Now this man was the leader of a prominent para-church ministry, and he was always flying here and going there to conduct conferences and participate in speaking engagements,”Roycontinued.

“He asked me if we could meet. He needed to talk with me about something important.So Iagreed.”

“When he got to the office, he told me that his son had gotten into some trouble and had to appear in court later that week, but he couldn’t be there. He was flying out to conduct a series of meetings in another city.” With pain-filled eyes,Roycontinued, “He asked me if I would go with his son. He wanted someone to be there with him, but he just could not cancel his trip.”

The next thingRoysaid will stay with me forever. He said that the man leaned across the desk and said, “I have never allowed my family to interfere with my ministry.”

Do you know what I want my kids to know? I want them to know that I care more about them than I do about ministry.

It is said that Howard Hendricks once showed up late to an event for which he was the keynote speaker because of a flat tire—a flat bike tire. He was late because his son needed help changing a tire, and he chose to make a bunch of grownups wait while he took the time to show his son that he mattered.