(Part 3) Handling Disappointment with People

We have seen that disappointment is an inevitable part of ministry. People let us down, and sometimes, as was Paul’s experience with Alexander the coppersmith (2 Tim. 4:14), they do so with the serious intent of seeking to cause us hurt and harm. It not only disappoints us, but it can also harden our hearts against the people we serve if we do not respond properly.

Part of that response is realizing that not every disappointment we have with the people we serve is the same. That’s why it’s so good that, after describing his hurt at the hands of Alexander, Paul told us of another kind of disappointment that requires a different response. In 2 Timothy 4:16, he continued, “At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them.”

Here, Paul described that moment when he stood before Caesar to defend himself against charges that amounted to insurrection. Notice that no one stood with him. All deserted him. Imagine the sense of abandonment and isolation he must have felt. Paul had poured out himself and worn himself out investing in churches and in young spiritual servants. He had given and given of himself on their behalf and the behalf of the gospel. Now, at the moment he needed someone, they all deserted. None came to his defense. Feeling forsaken and abandoned is not a pleasant feeling. It is one of the deepest forms of pain.

How did Paul respond? This is critical. He drew a line in the sand, making a distinction between the actions of Alexander and the actions of these who had run. Alexander required justice because of his apparently mean-spirited attempts to harm Paul and his ministry. That was certainly not the case here. What were these men guilty of? Human frailty. A moment of weakness. Faced with the intimidating prospect of facing the Caesar of Rome, they had cut and run. Paul said that this did not call for justice but for mercy. He echoed the words he had heard from Stephen (Acts 7:60) by calling for mercy—why? Because there’s a difference between the failings of human frailty and the mission of intentional harm and pain. When we face disappointment with people, the critical thing is to know the difference and to respond appropriately.