If I Could Do My Ministry Over Again . . . (Part One)

I’m at the 54-year mile marker in ministry—the season of reflection. At this point in my life, I resonate with the poem by Jorge Luis Borges.

Instants

If I could live again my life,

In the next – I’ll try,

– to make more mistakes.

I won’t try to be so perfect,

I’ll be more relaxed.

I’ll be more full – than I am now,

In fact, I’ll take fewer things seriously.

I’ll be less hygienic,

I’ll take more risks.

I’ll take more trips,

I’ll watch more sunsets,

I’ll climb more mountains,

I’ll swim more rivers,

I’ll go to more places I’ve never been,

I’ll eat more ice creams and less beans,

I’ll have more real problems – and less imaginary ones,

I was one of those people who live

prudent and prolific lives –
each moment of his life,

Of course I had moments of joy –

But if I could go back I’ll try to have only good moments

If you don’t know – that’s what life is made of,
Don’t lose the now!

If I could go back, what would I change?

1. Family time—Although I was able to attend many of my sons’ sporting events, I still regret a pattern that I fell into for many years. Because in the ministry the “to do” list is never completed when it’s time to leave the office for the day, I have this mental picture of a satchel full of books and folders that I lugged home night after night. While my wife and sons played games at the kitchen table, I was engrossed in a book or sermon outline. I missed interaction and family time. Those nights cannot be recaptured. The only thing I can do is to share my regret in hope that others will not repeat my mistake.
2. Priorities—When I was starting out in the ministry 50 years ago, I was still sorting out life priorities and family and ministry demands and expectations. A good friend, who had a traveling ministry, asked a favor. His 16-year-old son had been arrested and was to appear in court. But the date of the court case coincided with the father’s speaking invitation in a very large and well-known church in Atlanta, GA. He appealed to me to be his advocate and proxy father to his son in court; and he based his request on this premise: “I never allow family to interfere with ministry.” I was young and at first impressed with the “spirituality” found in that premise. Some years later, I came to the realization that this premise was a huge fallacy. There are times in life that your greatest call for ministry must be with your own family. I repented of my sin of misapplied priorities! How did that son feel in the courtroom with his dad 800 miles away? He felt abandoned and not very important. The “do over” would have me saying, “Your place is in court, not Atlanta.”
3. Men’s ministry—Yesterday, I spent valuable time with someone who has developed a ministry for men that is making a real difference in the marriages and parenting of men. He recounted, anonymously, many victory stories. In my years as pastor, I had been able to launch ministries for men that centered on sports. But this man was reaching men on a deeper level. Marriages were being salvaged and fathering was making a difference in children’s lives. I came home wishing for a “do over” with the wonderful men who had been in churches where I was the pastor.

We’ll resume here tomorrow…