The Pains of Leadership (Part Two)

This week, we are looking at some of the things that make leadership in a church so challenging—even painful. Yesterday we began by seeing the reality that, as leaders, we face a stricter judgment and must be committed to working hard. Today we continue to discussion by realizing that, as leaders, sometimes we find ourselves…

3. Standing alone.

No one has to like this one either.  And we should fight it as much as we can, in the sense that we seek involvement of our colleagues, true teamwork from staff, and everything else we can say about the need to share leadership and be captain of a true team.

But there still are times.

Times like Daniel experienced in front of the king or maybe the lions!  Times when even your best friends don’t understand why you feel so strongly about a certain emphasis or change for the church.  And, granted, we shouldn’t do something if others can’t get behind it.  But there are times when even trusted colleagues who have not thought about it as much can see what you’re trying to say.

I found it true when I was a new lieutenant on the patrol boys in grade 5 and had to turn in my brother who sat down on the fire hydrant instead of standing at attention.  I’m not sure he has forgiven me yet.

But I did make captain the next year, because Miss Black saw a trait of a leader.

I never was very good in football, but I loved to watch the replays.  The linemen do all they can for the quarterback or the halfback, and the passer is sometimes so adept at dodging the rushing ends or linebackers.  But there’s a point when you see nothing but courage as you watch this lonely quarterback stand alone until the last minute when he throws the ball.

Whatever you think of any president’s decision at your company or even with our United States, we all know that a good president simply has to stand alone and do what is courageous and right, whether it’s about war or a cabinet member or a daily decision.

Some of the times when this pain seems most prominent to me:

• In the pulpit.  You can’t have your brother or anybody else standing there holding your arms – hopefully they do it in prayer beforehand – but most sermons I have heard are one person declaring the Word of God straight to our hearts. And if we say anything close to prophetic, based on the Word of God, it isn’t always fun.  Who wants to knock greed when we all face it?  Who wants to deal with marriage difficulties when everybody struggles a little?  Who wants to speak against homosexuality when it is not at all politically correct anymore?  Or any kind of sexual immorality?
• Sometimes one on one. It is not easy to “truth it in love.”  Or to confront. Many churches like ours had a policy where you had to report any gift of over $50 worth to at least one or two people, just as a reminder that you had to stay objective toward that person or persons. Not that they would give you gifts so that you wouldn’t criticize them or oppose one of their ideas someday, or even impose church discipline if needed!  But it still would be hard to be objective then, or with a good friend with whom you’ve had a lot of fun or joy.
• In a staff meeting when some did not understand why you are staying with a certain policy. For a long time I joked that if I would let our staff vote on dress code, they would go with blue jeans in the hospital or shorts in the office.  It really wasn’t that extreme, and I did relent and loosened my tie when I went to bed at night or mowed the lawn.  But there are some things that should come out of the senior office that not everyone will agree with.  Sometimes even policies about how much work is a good week mean you stand alone.  That’s one you don’t even want your board discussing, in my opinion.
• Sometimes just with God. There are important times just to pray through something and ask God’s wisdom and help before you decide what to do.  Naturally I’m not talking about avoiding getting people’s help soon, and input in a strong way.  But for me it was not natural or easy to bow my knee and pray and ask for wisdom and help.  Maybe it should have been more natural. But it was a time of standing alone. I actually think that one of the best things we can do for our children or the children of our church is to teach them to stand alone.  It’s not just the example of Daniel in chapter one and the vegetables, but of Jesus and the mission that He was on, or of Paul at times when he said, “Everyone deserted me” (II Timothy 4:16). Kids will experience it in grade 7 or before now.  All of us will experience it as we pastor.

4. Enduring criticism.

And we must endure it.

There’s some kind of saying about how people love to shoot the quarterback or the president or the leader.  And we all have experienced it.

But they are not mortal wounds, and the more we are assured of proper motives and trying to influence people toward God, the better we can take the criticism.

Not everything is by majority vote, of course.

As soon as we decide we can’t stand criticism, we’ve got to change jobs.  I mean no one has to like it.  But all we have to do to accept it better is to realize that we probably spent some time that day criticizing a coach or a basketball star or the president of our country.  Or at least the governor.  It’s just the natural thing.

Again we go to scripture and see such amazing examples of people who endured this so regularly.  Paul the great apostle even had terribly deep misunderstandings with people he worked with, and criticism from other spiritual giants.  And certainly the constant criticism of the religious leaders.

As did Jesus, our Lord.

He even taught – none of us like this teaching – that people would hate us because of Him.

And always we’re wise to be sure they’re not reacting to our own selfishness or unkind ways, but rather the offense of the cross.

We’ll conclude this discussion tomorrow.