“Community: Valuing Each Other” (Part Two)

What is the definition of true community or fellowship?

When is the church what it was meant to be in terms of love and “family” for a person?

This is going to be ideal, but consider that when true community love is strong in a church, it will look like this for “Churched Charlie” and his wife “Charlene.”  And singles too!

1. Churched Charlie and Charlene know how much God loves them and all people.  That comes out of the teaching of course.
2. Churched Charlie and Charlene know the pastor loves them, and others on staff and in leadership, just from the way they are treated from the pulpit and with written communications.  We’re talking any sized church. The speaker who just is always saying, “You should…” instead of, “We should…” probably is alienating people or building a distance.
3. Charlie regularly hears calls to welcome others and do everything possible to show love in times of need.  While we don’t embarrass visitors, every deacon’s meeting or “huddle” of the leaders of the church and even sometimes in the Sunday services, includes a time to welcome guests and show love to them and urge others to do the same.
4. Charlie or Charlene know from their own scripture, but also from the teaching at church how important is strong love and grace and the way they treat each other at home. Many in the emergent movement are critical of the traditional church because it majored only on doctrine and did not emphasize love enough.  Surely both are needed!
5. Churched Charlie regularly hears of opportunities to meet with medium-sized groups or small groups within the church schedule.  And when he hears them they are presented with emotion and stories from up front, not just facts.  Not just, “Call the church office to find out more,” but the story of a single or a couple who have found great love through one of the community groups.
6. Charlene is regularly a part of an adult Sunday school class or a home group, and leaders from there would know if she were dropping out or missing.
7. Someone knows if Charlie or Charlene or their families are in trouble or in the hospital or other need.  Someone is designated to help.  They even know whom to call if there is such a need.  This part cannot be nebulous.  If it bothers us that love is a sign, then let it bother us.  Just be sure there is a management or love system this way.
8. This churched one meets with a group of men in a restaurant or women in a home or restaurant twice a month, and she feels love there as with anyone else.  There is honesty and candor and accountability. We are talking ideal here.  It’s not going to happen with everybody.
9. Charlie and Charlene regularly tells friends about their church and why they like it so much.  They may not even say it this way, but one of the reasons is community.

Principles and Guidelines

It is important to note that all of these are true to have good community in the church!

1. There are high biblical mandates for the purpose of these.  Leaders know this.  It is not just that the church does this on a whim.
2. The pastor must be the example in community. This means personal love and warmth and how he comes across in a sermon, and even in establishing pastoral means to show love and community.
3. These are important in every size church – groups for community and love and fellowship and accountability and discipleship.
4. Someone on staff should be responsible for the management of all three.  They can’t just happen or be hived off to be checked on in five years.  In a small church that might be a volunteer adult coordinator.  In a growing church there is probably going to be somebody assigned on staff to have responsibility for these areas of medium and small groups.
5. People with responsibilities in the group should have clear job descriptions and a person that they report to, with minimal red tape.  I remember the reason that most volunteers resign – actually two of them:  they did not know what to do and no one thanked them.
6. The worship emphases and the medium groups and the small groups must be publicized regularly, but always with stories and feeling and stories and feelings.  They should also be taught very clearly in new members’ classes. Some churches assign one Sunday a month where they take time at the “living church minute” or in the announcements before worship starts to emphasize this aspect of church life.  Worship is important but so is community or fellowship and connection.
7. Care and love and enthusiasm can show in all these kinds of groups.  In the large worship service of 50, or 100 or 10,000!  But also in the medium groups and the Adult Bible Fellowships or Sunday schools.  This is part of the DNA of a healthy church.
8. Each way of meeting, each group, can have a ministry passion for both inside and outside the church. To be personal again, there was a time when I did not like to have ABFs or small groups to adopt a missionary or center on one project.  We were asking that they care about the whole church budget. But when my stiff head finally relented, I watched as many of the ABFs or small groups got to know a certain missionary family, supported them, and loved them in a special way.  It became more personal.  One ABF even got together to buy a car for a missionary in France when those funds were needed. When all these things are understood, we’re going to move toward strong ways for people to find community and love.