Proud love for self gets anyone in trouble, produces a selfish life, and will bring judgment and accountability someday. Surely Jesus meant love for self that shows in doing the best things and in taking care of ourselves.

There is actually a great lesson in this Matthew passage about love as action, since none of us with a proper balance drools about our love for ourself or gets emotional about ourself – we simply do what is best for ourselves. We take care of ourselves.

We don’t wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and feel deep emotion, but rather do what needs to be done.

But how can we then show love to ourselves and improve in this area? And how will the church know?

• Surely we must take care of ourselves spiritually. Back to Paul and his summary of pastoral love that he had shown to the people at Ephesus – “watch over yourselves and the flock …” (Acts 20:34). That certainly means checking our spirits and our attitudes and the way we act toward others.

• Have daily habits that build your spirit. When I read the famous quote from Martin Luther about being so busy certain days that he had to spend two hours with the Lord, I always felt frustrated. Anyone who is a recovering legalist knows how hard it is when you skip a day of devotions!

Let’s relax about that kind of learned guilt. But the need to build our own souls is still there.

• Stay healthy. It has to be a challenge for each of us spiritually but also emotionally and physically, socially, and mentally. That means a program, a schedule. Some set goals and criteria that help to evaluate this.

Surely all of us believe that the emotional and spiritual pressures of working with people demand some time of physical exercise and fun. I often called basketball and jogging my “little boy time” as a pastor. To get away from the pressures and the agendas. Just try to set a good pick, or make your shot, or do a better time in the jogging!

• Don’t feel guilty about time alone or time with family or special breaks. Sabbath times. Vacation times. Reading just to read.

Love of self includes knowing that these times are important.

• Be in an accountability group. If loving self means doing what is best for ourselves, then this must be considered. It is best to have someone or a small group who are willing to “tag you out.”

We all teach the three loves. We must model them also – to love our God, to love all “neighbors,” and to love our own lives.

God will help us. He is love.