What Is The Heart of Forgiveness? (Part 2)

This week we are thinking together about the issue of forgiveness. To do that, we began by looking at the difference between conditional and unconditional, then looked at how love can be expressed unconditionally. How does that relate to forgiveness?

What Is Unconditional Forgiveness?

A. The Question:

But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. (Matt.6:15)

But, what does that mean? How are we to respond to mistreatment in a way that pleases God, honors the scriptures, and protects relationship?

B. The Answer:

The answer is that forgiveness is not a casual, superficial act so that I feel better. “Forgive and forget” is a myth that only leaves both sides of the disagreement unsatisfied. We may say we forgive, but we do not forget. The only way to resolve is to recognize the biblical pattern for dealing with mistreatment, and part of it is here:

(15) If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. (16) But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED. (17) If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. (Matthew 18:15-17)

This is a serious process because relationships need to be taken seriously. It involves the discomfort of confrontation, and sometimes the greater discomfort of the weight of the church being thrown at the situation.

C. The Model:

Just because we are challenged to love unconditionally, and we see that love modeled by God, does not equate to forgiving unconditionally. Even God doesn’t do that! Notice:

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

God is faithful and just to forgive—but only once we have confessed! Even God does not unconditionally forgive (in salvation that would lead to universalism), and I find it impossible to believe that He would require us to do that which He Himself does not practice.

On Friday we’ll examine what love requires in the area of forgiveness.